


The Cereal Offender

by ElBevuardo



Category: Yogscast
Genre: Gen, I swear - dumbest fic I've ever written but it's sorta my favourite okay?, My favourite fanfic pairing okay yes, Not really romantic!Sjips but actually friendship!Sjips, Silly friendship fic, Sjips - Freeform, Uni Yogs AU, Worry-Wart Sjin and Do I Look Like I Give Two Shits Sips, don't ask but froot loops everywhere okay, froot loops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-16 11:30:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7266361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElBevuardo/pseuds/ElBevuardo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sips is just beginning to settle into his ways at university when he comes across something rather unexpected, in the form of a yelling, bearded man amidst a sea of pastel-coloured hoops. The last thing he wants to do is cause a scene, but - well, he's Sips, after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cereal Offender

**Author's Note:**

> [Based on the prompt: “The cereal dispenser in the hall broke while I was getting Froot Loops and now they’re all over the floor and you think I'm to blame"]  
> I thought I was being punny with the title, whoops. I've been writing so much Smornby recently so I thought I'd shake it up by writing some Sjips, though it's not much more than a dumb friendship fic, and not many people want to read those, for some reason. Hm, I wonder why..? Nonetheless, enjoy!

"No, no, no, _no_!" Panicked shrieks filled the corridor, and Sips almost jumped out of his skin as he made his way down the wide hallway. The sound came from around the corner, a slight tangent on his route from class, and he found his feet moving quickly to carry him towards the source of the noise. As he grew closer, he was sure he heard an odd sort of rattling, like hailstones hitting a closed window, and furrowed his brows as he popped his head around the corner.

"Hey, are you all right? I heard a yell and I..." He trailed off, a frown slipping onto his face as he took in the scene before him. In the middle of the corridor sat a man of average height, with a beanie half-covering his dark-brown hair and a pair of thick glasses over his wide, panic-filled blue eyes. In his hands was a cereal bowl, overflowing with what appeared to be Froot Loops, and all over the man's lap, all over the floor - all over the corridor, in fact, in a spreading sea of pastel colours - were Froot Loops. The man frantically whipped his head back and forth between the overflowing machine and Sips, stood at the corner, dumbfounded at the sight he had been presented with. "What the hell?"

"Oh shit- You're not an advisor, are you?"

"What? No, no, I'm a student, I... What the _hell_?" He repeated, confused. The man looked almost relieved, but went back to frantic worry and whipping his head back and forth between the cereal and Sips as he spoke.

"I don't _know_ , I just pressed a button an-and they just started _pouring_ out and I don't know what to do!" He waved the bowl in his hands, colourful hoops spilling out the sides, and Sips realised that the man was _genuinely_ panicking. There was a scarlet flush across his cheeks, and he was stuttering as he spoke in frantic gasps. "It won't stop and all I can do is hold this - this bowl and it's not catching shit and I- _What do I do_?!"

"The hell should I know, man? I just got here." Sips tilted his head to the side, confused. Just how did a grown-ass man get himself in such a damn predicament? He would've loved to have seen how this had started, because really, it went without saying that he was just so confused. "Why'd you flood the corridor with cereal then, buddy?"

" _I didn't do it on purpose_!" The man exclaimed. "I wanted some cereal and so I...I pressed the button, and it just won't _stop_. I thought I made that perfectly clear! I just wanted some cereal..." He stared, wide-eyed, up at Sips, and the dark-haired man realised just why he was staring at him. He expected some help, didn't he? He wanted Sips to help him clear up the sea of Froot Loops that was slowly forming across the corridor - or to at least stop the machine. So, with an almost laboured sigh, he took a few steps closer to the machine, squinting as he studied the buttons on the cereal dispenser. These machines were dotted all around campus, near the dorm rooms, and they had been known to jam and refuse to spit out cereal every so often, but he had never seen a machine quite so generous as this one before.

"Man, I don't know. I'd be pretty happy with all these Froot Loops - bit of bang for your buck, right?" He smirked, and the man stared up at him incredulously.

"Just figure out how to turn it off already! I've got enough to worry about, I have my... My final paper, my dissertation, the laptop wiped itself of all its data, and- And I thought I'd get something to eat because I've _literally_ spent all term working on it and haven't really eaten much in a while, like a few days- And then I-I realised that there was no food because I forgot to go shopping when I got my money and now... And now _this_ and I- I'm tired and I can't do anything _right_ now and I- I..." He shook his head, as though confused at himself, and then looked back down at the overflowing bowl of Froot Loops in his hands. "What am I meant to do with all this cereal?" He sounded so bewildered, and Sips could have laughed if the sight weren't so pathetic. Man, this was rich, honestly. What student was sad about having so much free food? Then again, he _had_ just said he'd lost his final paper, so... Sips sucked in a breath through gritted teeth, shaking his head.

"Man, tough break. Still..." He pressed the button clearly marked ' _Froot Loops'_  once, twice, three times, and then frowned down at the dispenser. The cereal just kept pouring out.

"Don't press it again, it'll just keep going!"

"Hey, it's gotta run out at some point, right?" Sips reasoned. "The machine'll empty out, man, chill out." He pressed the button a few more times in rapid succession, just for good measure, and furrowed his brows. "I hate these machines- Seriously, man, just ask someone in your dorm for some cereal, like anybody else! Would save me swimming through cereal to get to my room."

"No, I didn't do this on _purpose_ , I- I didn't think to get food, and everyone is at class, so I- Shut up, I was hungry, okay?" He sounded so desperate, and so offended by Sips' words, and it made the dark-haired man smirk. "Stop _grinning_ at me, it's not funny!"

"It sorta is, man, it sorta is. Man, the look on your face right now, you gotta see it to get the joke, I promise you." A laugh escaped his lips, and he put a hand over his mouth to muffle it. "Sorry, sorry..." The man on the ground looked almost furious, and Sips tried to recollect himself, instead trying to distract himself by looking at something else, anything. However, he was brought right back to the man's furious expression as the sound of cereal clicking onto the floor became progressively quicker, and Sips realised that the machine had, in fact, begun to spit out cereal at a much faster rate. Another laugh errupted from his mouth, followed by another, until he was doubled over against the machine in hysterics, little to the amusement of the man on the floor.

"What part of _it's not funny_ don't you seem to get?" The man quizzed furiously. "Listen up, joker, I've got more important things to do than watch you laughing at me all day, so-"

"Like what, catching more cereal?" Sips wheezed out between laughs, tears spilling out of the corners of his eyes. "Oh, man, you'll be well-fed for a while, _jeez_. Why're you so mad about free food?"

"It's not food once it's been on the floor!" He dropped the bowl to the floor in defeat, bowing his head. "I can't do anything right, I swear to _god_."

Sips straightened up then, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes as he spoke again. "Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. It's just a little cereal. Okay, it's more than a _little_ cereal. But yeah. Chill out. Can't you just ask one of your class buddies for some of their food? Because this is a disaster, and I think cereal would serve as a bad omen, after this, man."

The man gave him a pointed look at the word "buddies", and Sips sighed. Great, a loner. No final paper, no shopping, no friends _and_ all this cereal? What a package deal.

"All right, bucko, listen up. Forget this cereal, all right?" The man went to pick up his bowl from the floor, but Sips crouched down and pushed it back onto the floor, swatting his hands away. "No, forget the bowl, the bowl's lost to us now. Forget about the bowl. Forget the cereal. What's your name?"

"P-Paul." The man frowned, fiddling with his glasses.

"Paul? What a boring-ass name. I'm gonna call you something cool. I don't know - Sjin. That sounds cool. Sort of World-of-Warcraft-y, right? I'm Chris, but hey, man - call me Sips." Sips stood up then, tugging at the strap of his backpack and hiking it back onto his shoulder with one hand, as he held out his other hand to help Sjin to his feet.

"You play Warcraft?" Sjin asked, taking his hand and smiling almost gratefully as he rose to his feet.

"All day, man. Sometimes I even skip class for it. Beats making it rain Froot Loops, right?" Sjin's cheeks flushed red again, and Sips laughed, slipping his hands into his pockets. "I'm just joking, man. It's obvious this has gotta be better than playing Warcraft. Hey, I bet you're one of those scrublords that plays as a Druid only because somebody told you it was " _balanced_ ", huh?"

Sjin's face flushed an even deeper shade of scarlet. "How did you know?"

"Oh, shit, man. _Seriously_? That is _lame_. Wow. Well, y'know what? I'll help you out, I've been gaming more than I've been studying this year, so I'll be more help with that rather than helping you rewrite a paper or whatever."

Sjin shrugged. "I'm not looking for a friend, if that's what you're suggesting. And I'm not some charity case, either." He looked almost embarrassed as he spoke, and Sips shook his head.

"That is bullshit, man. Y'know, I'm looking for a friend, even if you're not. You can never have too many friends in university - even ones that play as Druids and like to overindulge in Froot Loops. Still..." He glanced towards the machine, which had slowed down again in its cereal dispensing. "Oh, man, it's not stopping. Hey, what d'you say we just get outta here? Before somebody sees and thinks I started this."

"Hey, _I_ didn't start this, either, y'know! I just wanted some cereal!"

"Yeah, yeah. Say, let's just stick with that story, yeah? Neither of us saw shit, we came around here, free cereal for everyone. Hey, why didn't I take up creative writing? Computer programming - what a _bullshit_ course, man. Still. Wanna grab some cereal back at my dorm? Out of a box, not a vomiting machine."

Sjin glanced back at the cereal dispenser at the same time as Sips, and pulled a face. "Yeah, let's get the hell outta dodge, sharpish."


End file.
